💄 Skincare Influencers With 12 Steps and No Purpose
“Your pores glow. Your thoughts don’t.”
🤫 Silent Retreat People
“You paid ₹80K to shut up. Your friends would’ve paid you more.”
👟 Tech Bros in Allbirds Who Say ‘We’re Disrupting’
“You’re not disrupting. You’re debugging mediocrity with venture capital.”
☕ People Who Say ‘Chai Tea’
“You said tea-tea. Now say dumb-dumb.”
🎒 Backpackers Who ‘Find Themselves’ in Third-World Countries
“You’re not finding yourself. You’re colonizing brunch.”
🌙 People Who Say ‘Full Moon Energy Feels Off’
“The only thing off is your serotonin levels and shampoo.”
🎤 Open Mic Comics Who Only Talk About Their Ex
“She left for peace. We stayed and suffered.”
📱 Content Creators Who Call Their Cringe ‘Raw’
“That’s not raw. That’s expired.”
🚰 Hydration Preachers Who Say ‘Drink Water, Heal Trauma’
“Bro, I drank 3 litres. Still hate my dad.”
🧢 Men Who Call Themselves ‘High Value’ But Live In PGs
“You’re not high value. You’re on borrowed Wi-Fi.”
🕯️ Manifestation Pages That Sell Candles for ₹2,000
“You’re not manifesting abundance. You’re scamming the gullible with lavender.”
📸 Girls Who Caption Selfies ‘Feral & Feminine’
“You’re neither. You’re filtered and full of shit.”
🎨 Makeup Artists Who Call Contouring ‘Art’
“You didn’t paint a canvas. You painted denial.”
🛐 People Who Say ‘I’m Not Religious, But I Believe in the Universe’
“The universe isn’t listening. Neither are we.”
🧘♀️ Influencers Who Brag About ‘Healing’ in Their Bio
“You’re not healed—you’re just unemployed with a ring light.”
🪩 Anyone Who Says ‘That’s So Me’ After a Zodiac Meme
“No, Megha. You’re not a Scorpio. You’re just insufferable.”
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